Sunday, November 25, 2012

I don't mind your cussin'

I've had a rough day. I hate vague posts as much as anyone, but let's suffice to say that I'm fine but some people close to me are dealing with some heavy, heavy shit and I've got that pit in my stomach and feel powerless and sick.  Way to cut to the heart of Thanksgiving, cruel world.  It's a terrible way to really feel the gratitude for everything you have. 

Now for something completely different, my mom brought a 4Loko to work with her on her first day of work at her new job! Go, Linda!

She thought it was an energy drink that my cousin had left in her fridge and pulled it out at lunchtime. Thankfully she noticed that it said 12% alcohol written on the label before cracking it open.  I mean, honestly,  it would have made a much better story if she drank it, but I AM glad for her sake, as I'm not (totally) a monster.  She then proceeded to show her boss and (again, thankfully) "it made her day".  I'm glad the boss had a sense of humor about it, cause that kiiinda could have gone either way!  When she got to my sister's for dinner that night she wanted to crack it open and drink it, but to a woman who usually drinks 1 (that's ONE) wine cooler, I told her it would probably land her in the hospital and she backed away from the Loko. I can not imagine what she would be like on that juice, as she is an absolute lunatic sober. That shizz is Loko!

Update on my mini-addictions:
  • We have fully caught up on Boardwalk Empire. If you want to commiserate and sob with me about the cruelty of the Boardwalk gods, I am game. Also, I know this is sacrilege for most, but 8 episodes into The Wire and Brad and I aren't really loving it. I have faith that the love will come, but Brad does not.  What to do?
  • I have replaced my Chinese food addiction with Thanksgiving leftovers but will probably retreat as soon as they are gone. After mentioning my constant desire for Chinese food to my sister, I found out that she has also been really into potstickers in recent weeks. Could this and our mutual dislike of saxophones be genetic? Really?
  • I have started adding back in some other music to my rotation. Ok, so mostly I have just been watching this YouTube video on repeat. Oh, to be able to write a song like that. It's perfection.
  • The pants addiction is as strong as ever. Stretchy black pants forever. Why don't I just marry them?
 Well, I guess that's it for today.  I had a lovely Thanksgiving and have a big wedding coming up next week for some of our favorite, favorite peeps.  Also, a shit ton of school work due, which probably means I'll spend an inordinate amount of time on facebook and twitter.  God, it's an exciting day-to-day existence. I use the word peeps like it's nothin'.

 Love y'all.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Smelly Pirate Hooker (with pictures!)

I had a super awesome weekend and just wanted to relive it as I edited up these pictures. So here you go! Warning: it's long and probably boring!

We went out Friday for one of our good friend's birthday, and somehow I got incredibly lucky to find that the thing he wanted to do was... go to the Elks Club to see one of MY favorite bands. Sometimes things just work out really nicely.  It was a hilariously eclectic crowd - a mixture of old people from the Elks that came up from downstairs to dance, your run-of-the-mill Lancaster hipsters, and a gaggle of hippies (Frogholler was playing after) including the tallest hippie I have ever seen.  Focusing on people's physical differences isn't really cool, but this was a 7 foot hippie with 4 foot dreadlocks. He was amazing! I hope I see him again someday!

I fell into my being old patterns of being a weirdo at shows, awkwardly ignoring people I'm with (and then awkwardly apologizing), accosting band members just to tell them I like their music (as if they wouldn't know by you know, ya know, my presence), being shy and mumbly mouthed when I talk to people that I approach. I have no idea. Insert additional awkward apology here.

Anyway, I had a conversation with Brad about my photography and what I want to do, I realized that one thing I'd like to try is to take pictures at concerts (which is kinda missing the point of music, but whatever) and he asked how I'm going to make money doing that, and I replied that I don't want to make money doing that. I just want to do it. Epiphany. I'm still timid to walk up to the stage but I it's getting a little better.  I took some pictures at the Elks but I had my settings effed up so I only got one that I like. Toy Soldiers was awesome as usual.

Maggie and Paul are engaged! These lovable weirdos have been together for 10 years. And no one else could be right for either of them.  He proposed in the afternoon, then they went to dinner with their families and then there was a surprise party for Maggie with a million friends and family members. I'm guessing it was 50 or 60 people.   It was the best surprised reaction I have ever seen and these pictures are horribly blurry, but they capture the emotion. Everyone was really happy.

And Paul's mom gave Maggie a wrist corsage and that pretty much made my life.

Sunday we got up super early to cheer for our Meatball and Mory (that's Moira and Cory) running the Philly half marathon. They were awesome! After getting there 45 minutes early and being super anxious to see them, I got one picture and didn't even see Mo and Cory at all, even though they were all together.  Fail. Julie was adorably teary eyed, Laura was a GREAT cheerleader (I had no voice from smoking too many cigarettes the night before. Not only could I not RUN like that, I couldn't even make noises. Loser.) and the family standing next to us with pots and pans for their little kids to bang was one of the most precious things I've ever seen. I liked it a lot.

Go Meatball! Great job Mo and Cory! Cory has an awesome blog over here. Sometimes I need to read the entries 5 or 6 times before I "get it", but once I found a typo in his blog which made me feel less inferior.

Later, I went to my very first Friendsgiving, which was just as cozy and cheery as I imagined a Friendsgiving should be.  Our friend Jimmy hosted and made a Turducken. It was a day of firsts!  He also made the most delicious gravy I have ever eaten and I never thought I would have such strong feelings for a gravy but I just can't get you off of my mind, Brown Gravy. Do you think about me?

Also, I ate the cutest and most delicious pumpkin pie with tiny fall shapes on the crust. Steph made it from a pumpkin that Jeff grew with his students.  Could you make me feel any less put together, you two!? Oh, you want to give me some of your delicious pie with apricot jam brushed on the crust and a tablespoon of cornstarch to help it keep it's shape (how would you know that?) and homemade whipped cream, IGUESSTHATMAKESUPFORIT. KIND OF.  nom.

All the food was so delicious and my contribution of a bottle of wine that I took from Julie's house was much appreciate by myself, as I'm the one that drank it. What an awesome guest.  In my defense, I didn't know about it until late the night before or I would have made some effort.  I bet? The hospitality and "big belly blues" were much appreciated.

Sunday night Brad and I went to a cool, local place called Tellus360 for a show (Andrew Combs and Angel Snow). I've wanted to go there for a while and it was glad to finally get it together and go. The setting was unique - dark, quiet and intimate with a super attentive audience.  The stage, lighting, and performers were beautiful and I got some lovely pictures. I especially liked Andrew Combs' song E-M-I-L-Y (and was thrilled to sing it obnoxiously at Brad, who was grumpy and annoyed with me at that precise moment. Torturing him is my bag! I am also thrilled that he doesn't read mah blog!). I took a little video of it but am too lazy right now to post it. Later, I promise.

Gorgeous, right?  My favorite band, The Districts, will be playing there on Dec 21st, and I am super, super psyched for that! If you are alive, you should go, not cause it's free but because it's going to be sick. But it is free. Word.

In sympathy,

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The spice?

      The saying goes "Variety is the spice of life." but apparently I am no longer a person who find this to be true (along with saying "Where there's smoke, there's fire" because obviously there are plenty of instances where there is just smoke. Such as cigarettes and most of the fires I attempt to start in the fire pit. I digress.). In the past I was the one arguing with Brad that I didn't want to go to St John (the most beautiful and perfect place in the world!) for the sole reason that I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE (THE HORROR!!). I always wanted NEW stuff.  I wanted to collect shiny, new stories of all the different things I've done, places I've been, music I've heard, shows I've watched, and exotic foods I've tried.  I get tired of things and am incredibly inconsistent with habits, bad and good. Anyway, I've noticed a few slightly unusual patterns forming in my life in the past 6 weeks.
  • I only watch Boardwalk Empire. Not one other show.  28 episodes in the past few weeks.
  • I listen to the same band's full album every day. Sometimes multiple times. While I'm driving to and from work, while I'm cooking, showering, cleaning. I try to listen to other things but I just.. can't.
  • I want to wear the same pants to work every day. I only allow myself to wear them twice a week and I am thrilled on favorite pants days. I pop right out of bed!
  • I only want to eat Chinese food.  Steamed dumplings to be precise. I try to limit this to once every other day, because.. MSG? Is this something I should worry about? Also, it probably can't be healthy to eat steamed dumplings every day for dinner. 
     I have no idea how or why this hyper-focus has developed or how long it is going to continue. I guess I'll run out of episodes and wear my pants threadbare and die from MSG poisoning at some point.  I can't even think about stopping with the music. Anyone else have this strange affliction?

       Earlier this summer I stumbled across this post and for some reason it really struck me, and stuck with me. Duh. Why would I not find time to do the things I find enjoyable? Why should I feel guilty about it? The thing that makes me stupid happy is live music, and it's not like I need to see the Rolling Stones every week. A dude with a guitar in a local bar, putting it out there, it makes me giddy.  I have actually teared up over seeing people on a tiny stage, letting it all go. I'm sure I was drunk at the time, but I just find it so beautiful to be brave enough to get up there and do it. I've seen at least 10 shows since reading it and I'm so grateful that I have changed my mindset.  What made me think that being an adult should mean that I should discount the things that I love doing?  Continuing with the new theme of my life, I've seen one band 5 times and another 3 times.

Consistency. Who would have thought?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Spin the Black Circle

As you may know, one of my most prized possessions is my jukebox. It's my treasure:

And as I've also previously mentioned, I am not really into Barbra Streisand and Barry Manilow (ANYMORE!) so we've been switching things out. AND! It fixed itself! No more LOUD popping and scratching! My wonderful and generous friends and their spectacular mothers have been collecting 45s to help in our endeavors to curate the greatest jukebox (or at least the greatest jukebox ever in my basement). So when Lindsey's mom Valerie handed me THIS I might have squeed my pants a little! If you can't tell it's a box of hundreds of smelly, dusty, absolutely dreamy 45s.

As I started sifting, a few records hit me as a little odd...

But who am I to judge Dicky and his Oomp Waddle?

The next one had me questioning Lindsey's  psychological state as a child, seeing as how her mom bought her this:

Cheaper than counseling? (also: We care about you. We really, really do. And you are funny, I promise.)

  The next one seems like an innocuous, albeit strange Christmas song:

Upon closer inspection, I saw this curious categorization.

Yup, it's singing reindeer "Rap Music".  I cannot wait for Christmas!

And here we are, after plenty of sifting through hundreds of obviously stolen records (as evidenced by the writing: "Betty's - do not steal") I found my pay dirt:

I could kiss them. Thanks Val and Kathie and Kaity and anyone else who has boxes of old 45s they would like to donate to the cause! 

We are on still on the hunt for some Zeppelin, Elvis Costello, Neil Young, Queen, Pink Floyd, Crosby, Stills... , CCR, Bob Marley, Tom Petty and anything else that is awesome. New stuff, too, which is nearly impossible to find.  Who doesn't love the soft scratch of a 45 cuing up?

(Cuing? Really, that's a word.)

Monday, November 5, 2012

Mustache Meter

BREAKING NEWS: Julie and Joe are engaged! Seeing my Juice so happy makes me wish I could break dance! I think that might be the only way to fully express my joy at this moment and I am feeling stifled by my awkward white girl dance moves! Let's all give a cheer to the universe for making this happen, cause these two have moves, FOREVER AND EVER:

I just got called out for wearing Airwalks. Yeah, shit, I'm wearing Airwalks. I remember spending $70 on awesome (read this as: hideous) green ones to impress some kid I didn't even know that I overheard talking about Airwalks in 7th grade and here I am. I am just not feeling like a grown-up lady and trying to wrap my brain around it. My new airwalks are nothing like these but still ugly! I can't wait for the election to be over! I'm voting but not interested in talking about it and I know you don't care about my opinions so I'll keep them to myself other than my beliefs that nothing will change without campaign finance reform and it is no one else's business how you marry, even if they want to marry Airwalks, circa 1997:

Brad just told me he's growing a mustache and asked me what style he should grow. Yes, mustaches are so cliche and sooo hipster, but I would not think of turning this kind of opportunity down so take your hatin' and rub it in a mustache that smells like a cigar.  I told him I need to do some research. Feedback?

1. The most likely candidate, wide and fiery red (Brad is a ginger beard!). I have weird feelings for Seth Green! He's so tiny like an imp! Party Monster!

2. Or just a little 'stashe? Aewhh, I am actually, literally (and using the word literally literally) nauseated just looking at this. Challenge: can you look right at it for 3 full seconds?

3. And here is where this all devolves into the highlights of my google image search and I am reminded of the beauty and creative power of the human race. This also reminds me of when Mike Malloy created a full ring on his face by connecting his unibrow to his sideburns to his chinstrap and it was magical. Brad is hairy but he's no wolverine - perhaps he tries this one but throws 'em over his shoulder and connects them to his angel wings? TMI?

 4. This is just beautiful. I like to read it as "What is the meaning of life? Is there a purpose to all this? What is my role in this beautiful and complicated existence?", but I may be projecting.

5. And, scene.

 Laughter is the best medicine, besides Oxycontin.

My family is dealing with some annoying shit this week- my mom lost her job (she has another, so she'll survive but she loved that job and aargh), my grandmother was physically forced into a nursing home this week (which traumatized everyone) and we are trying to make some decisions about buying a business, etc... it's all nothing compared to the real problems and I'm mostly avoiding it but leads to an excess of wanting to be distracted and HOLYSHIT I'm great at that! If you have gotten this far you may be searching for the same thing! Apologizing appears to be a theme! I have wasted your precious, precious time yet again. You're welcome and I love your face.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Bug ZZzzapper!

So anyway, the 80s called and it said that maybe this blog isn't just about this house anymore. They just called to say they love me? And to tell me that I can talk about whatever I want to. Thanks, 80s!

Because nothing house related is happening. We tore out tile and wallpaper and it's just hideous and apparently staying that way until we get off our lazy arses.  We did have a party and I consoled myself with the thought that at least people will see what the place looked like "before" (if we ever get to the "after"). I'm surprisingly not bothered by it. The space is perfection for parties so that bodes well for the rest of my life.

We had no flooding or storm damage, and I couldn't be more grateful. My heart is broken for everyone dealing with the devastation of the storm and I cried while driving on the turnpike when I saw a caravan of trucks carrying generators. I didn't even really know what I was crying about but GAH. Global warming, HERE SHE BLOWS! I can't think of anything more terrifying.  It's happening. Let's change the subject.

Random shit in Three Acts:

Act 1: My favorite noises
  • I've been hyper-focused on a few limited artists right now. The coolest nerd. Tim Minchin is clever, political and offensive. If that bothers you don't follow him on twitter or listen to any of his politically tinged satire, though it would be a shame because he's a funny, funny, funny genius. His catalog is deep and varied and he has an Australian accent which makes everything better.
  • This. This is completely different but this album is perfect, and the band members are... wait for it... seventeen.  Album is pay-what-you-want so you have nothing to lose.  It's remarkable. I'm the self appointed Captain of the D-Team Fan Club.
  • Karaoke. I am a horrible singer but I really got the rush during Me and Bobby McGee and I'm hooked. Also my friends are the funnest people on the earth. I think I'm getting my nose re-pierced.  That's unrelated.

Act 2: Cat Statues
So anyway, cat statues. Did you know that I was given cat statues from three different people , unsolicited, unbeknownst to each other, within a period of 3 months? Also, I do not have a cat or care about cats? And so I have a collection and since then have been receiving multitudes of cat statues as gifts because the universe says so. If you come over and we are influenced I will take them out and introduce them to you and make a little puppet show with them and you will feel a little better about yourself because at least you're not as weird as me. Maybe I'll make a video for the internet and I'm sorry if you have read this far, I'm not making that video.

Act 3: Candy
As you know I am a budget braceface as well as a candy lover and it's Halloween. Brad was eating Mike & Ikes Red Rageous (why did they not have this when I was allowed to eat candy!? All reds, duh. It's what the people want!) in bed and I had to leave the room because I could smell them and I was so jealous. So I saw this list on another blog and decided to torture myself by spending a ridiculous amount of time ranking all my favorite candy.

Top shelf
Cadbury Creme Eggs
Laffy Taffy
Milky Way
Three Musketeers
Mentos (fruit)

I like this

Andes Mints
Baby Ruth
Candy cigarettes
Mike and Ike
Now and Later
Junior Mints
Reese's peanut butter cups
Sour Patch Kids
Tootsie Rolls
Take Five
Swedish Fish
York Peppermint Patties
Hershey Bar
Hershey's Kiss

Not bad/Not sure if I've had
100 GRAND Bar
5th Avenue
Chiclets Gum
Clark bar
Red Vines
Gummi bears or worms
Jelly beans
Jolly Ranchers
Krackel chocolate bar
Milk Duds
Mr. Goodbar
Oh Henry
Pay Day
Pixie Stix
Pop Rocks
Sweet Tarts
Fun Dip
Almond Joy

If I was starving
Bazooka Bubble Gum
Blow Pops
Candy Canes
Heath bar
Symphony Bar
JuJu Bees
Sugar Daddy
Ring Pops
Tootsie Roll pops
Werther's Original
Cow Tales

Reese's pieces

Burn it with fire
Good & Plenty
Atomic Fireball
Candy corn
Circus peanuts
Mary Janes
Necco wafers
Hot Tamales

Worst candy in existence
Wax lips (are you even supposed to eat them?)

Well, that was a productive use of my time! My love and apologies!